Warrior on Fleek

Today and yesterday were challenging. But the challenges provided an excellent learning opportunity on using a positive perspective to view situations that seem negative. Here’s a recap... (1) I woke up to flat tire yesterday. But it was easily, cheaply, and quickly remedied (2) I needed plywood cut into small boards and every hardware store in a 50 mile radius had a broken panel saw. I wasted way too much time finding that out. But I got to spend some fun quality time with the kids in the car listening to great music and laughing hard.  (3) I couldn't fall asleep until 2 AM.  As soon as I felt sleepy, A child came in with a nightmare. Nightmares always mean something is wrong. They only happen when he's sick. But I got to snuggle with him and comfort him which I don’t get to do often enough.  (4) He proceeded to scream in agony until I got him to the dentist this morning. He has a mouth full of abscesses. But we discovered an amazing dentist who is so ta...

   One year ago today I stood by helplessly witnessing the horror that was Hurricane Harvey. As the waters invaded the sanctuary of my new home and slowly rose to an eventual nine inches, I felt a sense of dread and a fear of the unknown. The only certainties were the facts that I would lose most of my belongings and that I would be displaced indefinitely. I had recently become unemployed and I feared homelessness and destitution. My faith in God and in humanity were in short supply at that time, and this act of God only served to decrease that faith.      As a tenant in a  rented home, I was not entitled to insurance benefits. I had not procured renter’s insurance, as I had recently moved into this home. It was on my long “to do” list. FEMA offered me one hotel room for thirty days, which would not suffice for my large family. I felt as though I had hit rock bottom for the third time in three years. I made Herculean attempts to maintain a charade o...

   Recently I had an epiphany. While I have known that my weight has been an issue for as long as I remember, and my added fluff is likely more the result of genetics than overeating, I finally began to feel that I alone possessed the power to take control of the beast known as my bathroom scale. With that thought in my mind, and an article on my phone, I decided restart my journey to a healthier self, and this week was a massive win. With 18/6 intermittent fasting, I lost about 7% of my total body weight. By next week I will be exercising as well, which will just further improve my weight loss and my health.  In addition, some professional stars aligned and hopefully that means that positive things are on the horizon.  So right about now I’m feeling pretty hopeful.      The thing about hope is that it gives you power. What I’m aiming for is the healthy kind of power- the kind that comes with limitations. The power to lose weight, with the li...

     Several weeks ago a new friend mentioned to me that he heard things about me. Less than positive things. Unflattering things. Likely, the result of vicious gossip that was initiated and perpetuated by people whose only roles in my life have been hurtful ones. Initially the news of these “things” that were said about me hurt and upset me. Mostly because untruths had found their way to the ears of someone new who did not yet know me well enough to formulate an opinion of me absent these “things”. But on a larger scale, I was concerned about what potential rumors may cost me in terms of future friendships and relationships.  After having the opportunity to get to know me a little bit, this new friend confirmed that these rumors were, in fact, no cause for concern because he was able to determine that despite a lack of chemistry between us, I seem to be a decent human being. Which I hope I am.       I’ve been giving this issue some thought lat...

An Epistle to My Daughter, Esti, on the Occassion of Her Eighth Grade Graduation:    Chana Esther, you were named after my Oma, Chana, Johanna Frank Hirschfeldt. She was a strong and determined woman, not merely making it out of Hitler’s war-torn Germany, but rescuing my Opa from the horrors of the Sachsenhausen concentration camp on her way out. She spent most of her adult life owning and operating her own dry cleaning store at a time when it was unheard of for women to be entrepreneurs.    Esti, you possess many of your great-grandmother’s uniquely wonderful qualities. Your strength in the face of adversity is an impressive quality that is so rare in young teens who are often susceptible to peer pressure. Regardless of the fact that “everyone” you know is doing the popular thing, you have proven time and again that your values are unwavering. You will stand up for what you feel is right, regardless of the friendships that it costs you. This is a trait that I adm...

 I feel a certain level of sadness for cookie cutter Millenial kids.  It feels like they’re each living in a hellish little fish bowl, always worried about others’ perceptions of them. Perhaps that’s due to social media and how it’s made everyone’s private affairs a public spectacle. Or maybe it’s always been that way and my 44 years of life have colored my memory over time.  Here’s how I addressed this issue with a particular youngster who is overly concerned with appearances: “I don’t know if I’ve told you, but I’ve been through a lot. I wouldn’t have survived if my attitude was that of a contemporary twenty-something. And it’s not that I don’t care about how other people feel. I care very deeply, almost too deeply, about others.  It’s just that I don’t really care what people think of me. And quite frankly, other people’s opinions of me are not my business. “Nobody gets to middle age without going through stuff.  My father died suddenly the same we...